


Here Today

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: The Grove [15]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Drama, F/M, Family, Friendship, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2014-10-07
Packaged: 2018-02-20 05:33:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2416718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I want to refocus on us, Hotch.  Our relationship used to be fun.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here Today

**Author's Note:**

> Teenagers are so up and down; they drive me crazy. I still love these two though.

Hotch wasn’t sure what to do or think. The past six weeks had been very topsy-turvy. There had been the incident with Kate Joyner and then calm. That calm was shaken to the core by a pregnancy scare, which he didn’t handle as well as he would’ve liked. After that he and Emily didn’t see a lot of each other socially.

They were together at school everyday, except those two days Emily was out with a spring cold. He wanted so desperately to ask her if they were going to make it through this uncertain time but he didn’t have the words. School was busy; tests, reports, and presentations kept Hotch at the library. The prom was in one month, and the senior trip to Paris two weeks after that. Barton-Cosgrove’s Forensics Team was going to the district finals and he was the co-captain.

He was doing some side work for the Yearbook Committee, the Mock Court Committee, and high school graduation was in fifty five days. As valedictorian, Hotch wanted to write a speech that was meaningful to himself and his classmates. Jason promised to help with the polish but Hotch wanted to have something solid before he even showed it to his best friend.

Right now he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was doing his best to get that off his mind. It was a warm but rainy Sunday morning and Hotch was making breakfast. The Hotchner house, which wouldn’t be the Hotchner house for much longer, was empty. His mother and stepfather left on Thursday evening for a long weekend in Manhattan.

Friday after school Hotch took his little brother to his Aunt and Uncle’s house in Fairfax for a weekend of fun with his cousins. They would be dropping Sean at school on Monday morning. Hotch was home alone. He wasn’t just home alone, he felt alone. For weeks, ever since Emily thought she might be pregnant, he’d had a sense of chilly isolation.

Day after day Hotch went through the motions of school and life. A couple times Morgan tried to call him on it; ask him what was wrong. Hotch brushed him off. There was a lot going on…everything would be fine. Morgan didn’t believe him; they had been friends a long time and could read each other. He let it go though and Hotch was happy about that.

He was sure with the proper push, and Morgan could be a pusher, he would fall apart. If he fell apart now, Hotch wasn’t sure he would be able to glue the pieces of himself back together again. So instead of focusing on that, he focused on breakfast. Hotch put 150% into it just as he did everything else. Today needed to be a good day. Even if the pit of his stomach was churning like a choppy ocean, Hotch would just ignore it and plow on.

000

Emily decided to walk to Hotch’s house from hers. They lived nearly a mile and a half apart but she needed the time and space. Her stepmother offered her a ride but she declined. Natalie wanted to talk to her, Emily could tell she had for some time, but the teenager didn’t have a lot to say. For the past few weeks, she had been in a daze.

School was busy and even with Yale University assured in the fall, Emily still worked hard. She was studying a lot and her parents noticed Hotch was around less and less. The young couple had a breakup caused by a misunderstanding. They got back together after a week; things seemed normal again. Something else must have happened because Emily was not acting like herself. She did her best to calm her parents with words.

Her deeds showed something else entirely. Emily was focused solely on schoolwork and activities, not spending time with her friends. The few times they did go out she had to be dragged practically kicking and screaming. If Emily knew what was wrong, she surely would’ve told someone. She even kept mum while talking to her psychiatrist, Dr. Rachel Howard.

She’d been seeing Dr. Howard twice a month since she broke down and told Natalie about the nightmares she’d been having. So many things were on the tip of her tongue. Emily was afraid if she opened her mouth it would all tumble out. The problem was that she didn’t know what it was.

The rain fell steadily but not too hard. Emily loved this weather; it always reminded her of the first night she and Hotch took their intimacy to the next level. It was July 4th and a rainstorm cancelled the fireworks. They were both so young and innocent then; the way he made her feel was still indescribable. Emily wanted that euphoria back…she didn’t know how they lost it.

Things had gotten too real lately. She wanted the fantasy back; she didn’t want to be worried all the time. They would have to grow up eventually and take everything that came with adulthood. Why did that have to be right now? Was there anything she could do to hold it off for just a while longer?

Emily walked up the drive, looking at Hotch’s Firebird. She went up the steps and onto the porch. Closing her umbrella, Emily leaned it against the porch swing. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and rang the doorbell. Hotch pulled the door opened. He was smiling as he pushed open the screen.

“Come in.” He said.

“Something smells good.” Emily stepped into the house.

“I'm glad you think so.” Hotch helped her out of her jacket. Actually, it was his jacket, a windbreaker from junior year when he was scorekeeping for many of The Grove’s sports teams. It was maroon, with his name ‘Hotch’ stitched in golden yellow to represent the school’s colors. “I was just setting the table.”

“Do you need some help?” she asked. Emily followed him into the kitchen after he hung up her jacket.

“Sure.”

She finished setting the table, noting that he was using the good china. Hotch put out orange juice, coffee, and hot water for tea before serving breakfast. He made eggs, medium over easy, hickory smoked sausage, and buttermilk waffles.

“I made the waffles myself.” He said. “I made them from scratch.”

“I'm sure they're delicious.” Emily replied.

“I hope so. Did you bring your appetite?”

“I think so.”

For a while they ate in silence. The breakfast was fantastic but the silence made them both nervous.

“Something’s not…”

“I think we need…”

Hotch smiled when they spoke at the same time. He deferred to Emily, as he always did, picking up his mug of Earl Grey tea.

“Something’s not right.” She said. It was surprising that she could look into his eyes when she said it.

“I know.”

“Do you know what it is?”

“I think it might be a little bit of everything.” Hotch replied. “No one ever said senior year would be easy.”

“You don’t think it has anything to do with us moving this too fast?” Emily asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Hotch, we’re practically married. I mean I think…”

“Emily, I only want to be with you.” He reached for her hand. “I love you, you know that.”

“Of course I know that. I love you too.”

“So what are you saying?” He asked.

“I'm saying that it doesn’t have to be so heavy.” Emily replied. “So many things in our lives are heavy; this shouldn’t be one of them. I know lately we couldn’t help some of the things that happened but we need to take a deep breath and refocus. At least I think we need to. What are you thinking?”

“What do you want to refocus on?”

“I want to refocus on us, Hotch. Our relationship used to be fun.”

“It’s not anymore?”

“No.”

Hotch felt as if he’d been punched in the face. He never expected to hear that. He’d done his best to plan for all the worst case scenarios and still never expected to hear that. Digging deep down, Hotch knew he had to find a way to respond.

“Emily, I'm sorry that it hasn’t been fun for you. I just want you to be happy with me.”

“I know that.” Emily ate her waffles. “I want the same thing and don’t doubt that we’ll get it together. These waffles are delicious.”

He wasn’t sure if she was changing the subject on purpose. Hotch managed a small smile.

“Really?”

“Mmm hmm, I may ask for seconds.”

“There are some left.” He replied.

Emily nodded and they went back to the silence as they finished breakfast. She did ask for seconds; Hotch put two more on her plate. Emily grinned while pouring syrup over them.

“Are you trying to fatten me up Hotch? I may not be able to fit into my prom dress after this.”

“I know how giddy breakfast makes you. All I cared about was seeing your pretty smile.”

“There will need to be major calorie burning after this meal.” Emily said.

Hotch closed his eyes, thought about the two of them making love. It had been a while; longer than usual. After the pregnancy scare Emily didn’t want to be touchy. They both had been busy or were pretending to be. They weren't even putting themselves in a position to be alone and intimate. He still called her every night before he fell asleep, or vice-versa, but Hotch ached to be close to her. It was a physically painful experience.

“Earth to Hotch.” Emily waved her hand in front of his face.

“Huh?”

“You left the room. Where did you go?”

“Um…”

“What?” She playfully poked his chest. “Tell me.”

“I was thinking about us.” He said. “I've been thinking about us a lot.”

“Intimately?” Emily asked.

“Um…”

“You don’t have to be flustered about it, Hotch. I think about it too. I miss you.”

He took her hand and held it to his lips. Emily smiled as she finished her waffles. She knew what he was feeling; she felt what he was feeling. Words would never be enough to express it.

***

_Another night slowly closes in_  
And it feels so lonely  
Touching heat freezing on my skin  
I pretend you still hold me  
I'm going crazy, I'm losing sleep  
I'm in too far; I'm in way too deep  
Over you…I can't believe you're going home  
You were the first, you'll be the last

Hotch held Emily close as they swayed on the carpet. He’d made the tape especially for their anniversary. It felt so good to hold her close, to feel her arms around him, and her heartbeat on his chest. He never wanted so much time to go by again without touching her. He wanted to stroke her hair and listen to her sigh softly against him.

“Do you remember the first time we danced to this song?” He whispered.

“July 4th.” She replied. “I've been thinking about it a lot lately.”

“What?”

“That day, Hotch. It was a wonderful, confusing, magnificent day.”

“It was the day you told me that you loved me for the first time.”

“I meant it. I meant it that day and everyday after.” Emily said.

He kissed her, pulling her even closer. Hotch feared his kisses might overpower her, that his desire would devour her, but Emily could keep up. She slid her hands up through his hair and smiled against his mouth when he moaned. Her hands moved around to his shirt, nimble fingers undoing the buttons and sliding it off his shoulders. He started to move them toward the bed. Emily broke out of the kiss long enough to lift the pink shirt over her head. It fell on the floor beside his.

In bed Hotch just wanted to hold her, touch her; there was no need to rush. He wanted to nibble her fingertips and her earlobes. He wanted to stroke the goose bumps on her skin as he kissed her breathless. He wanted to tremble when Emily’s fingers tickled down his back, moan when she ran her tongue across his shoulder. They had all the time in the world and Hotch planned to make use of every second of it. He wanted to make it count.

Emily wanted to be naked. Slow was good, she didn’t mind slow, but she preferred slow and naked. When she went for his slacks, Hotch didn’t try to stop her. When they were undone, she pushed them down to his knees and Hotch kicked them the rest of the way. Then she slid out of her own jeans. Emily moaned when their skin finally touched; they were almost where she wanted them to be. She rolled Hotch on the mattress, smiling, kissing, and loving the little laugh that came from his throat.

He closed his eyes and surrendered. If Emily wanted him he was never going to say no to that. Hotch wasn’t sure how little or much she wanted in the moment but he let her undress him. He loved being naked with her. He had from the very first time and was sure he would until the day he died. He wanted to be touched by her, felt, experienced, and loved…all in the same breath. Throwing the covers over them was even better. Emily didn’t like being out in the open, and Hotch loved being “trapped”. Tangled limbs, fiery kisses, and her hands everywhere; it was perfect.

Ecstasy was so easy when she was with him. They didn’t have to go all the way; that was such a small part of it. Their bodies just worked together, fit together; were made for each other. When he touched her, anywhere, Emily was on fire. She laughed as her underwear was thrown outside of their cover cocoon. He wanted all of her and she was eager to give. She was eager to feel his excitement and his love wash over her. Hotch moved slow, took his time, gave her everything she wanted and just a little extra for good measure. After all this time who knew third base could be so satisfying?

“Ohhh Emily, oh baby, I love you, I love you so much.” Hotch tried to hold on but the feelings began to overwhelm him.

It had been a long time since it was just touching, rubbing, and stroking. Sometimes it seemed like when you got to the bigger guns you forgot about the little things that had always been so good. He was reminded this afternoon in bed with her and made a solemn vow never to forget again. She cried out his name as his eager strokes brought her to a wonderful climax. Hotch wasn’t done yet, the friction their two bodies created building and building until he could hold back no more.

“Oh my God.” He gasped.

Emily held him close, sweet kisses bringing them down from the highest heights. Hotch grabbed the towel from the nightstand to clean up some of the mess. Emily could care less about that, she wanted to curl around him and never let go.

“I love you.” She whispered.

“You and me baby, for always.”

“Promise?”

“Yes, I do.” Hotch replied. “I also promise that we’re going to have a lot more fun together. I don’t just mean with our clothes off.”

Emily laughed, kissing him. It was impossible for the two of them not to have fun with their clothes off. The sexual energy and chemistry sparked between them from the first day they met. Even still, they wanted more, and had built a strong foundation before they let the temptations that guided so many of their friends even burden them. Senior year had been harder than junior year, which was strange considering Emily was attacked by a sociopath classmate junior year.

“We have the rest of our lives to grow and be happy.” Hotch said. “Right now, lets just be teenagers.”

“So we get date night back?” Emily sat up on her elbow and looked at him. She wore a happy grin.

“Hell yeah. We get date night, drives out to the country, long walks, bickering about Cukor films. I just want to be with you, Emily, and I want us to be happy.”

“I am happy.” She hugged him tight. “Even when it was a roller coaster Hotch I never stopped loving you. Thank you.”

“For what, baby?” He asked.

“We’ll start with the fact that you made me waffles from scratch.”

“You're welcome.” Hotch kissed her. “I think we should take a little nap. I didn’t sleep well last night, I was worried about how today would go. I think I'm coming down from the adrenaline high. I might crash in a minute.”

Emily held him to her as she relaxed on the mattress. She told him to fall, it was alright, she was holding on to him. They could lie in each other’s arms for as long as they wanted to today. Both of them appreciated this time to get back to each other.

There would always be bumps on the road, they knew that, but finding that way to reconnect was so important. It would be important at 18 and at 80. Being together forever did take a fair share of planning. The results would always be worth it.

***

  



End file.
